To Stay or Not to Stay

“A Sunrise is God's way of saying, "Let's start again.”  ― Todd Stocker

Looking for a new job is never easy, especially in our current economy.  There are so many people out of work that the employers are free to be very selective.  If there are six “must haves” on their hiring requirement list, they can hold out for the person with those six qualifications.  I’ve been classified as “over-qualified”, “under-qualified”, and “not what we are looking for at this time”. I’ve applied for jobs at 2/3 of my old salary and heard nothing. I’ve registered with all of the local agencies and logged onto all of the recommended job sites.  It’s been six months and my unemployment insurance runs out in two weeks.  This is not my pity party, these are the facts.  And the saddest thing is I am not alone. 

There are thousands of other people in their 50’s who are in the exact same position as me. People who have worked all their lives, paid their taxes, contributed to their community and raised their children to believe that if you work hard, you will succeed (or at least get by…). We are middle class people who just want to get back to work.

I was lucky.  My previous employer provided me with a decent severance package and I was able to supplement my unemployment by dipping into my savings.  I watched my expenses and still have a few thousand left in my account.  But the time has come to make some changes.  I live in a 2 bedroom duplex and with my daughter in college; I don’t need all this space.  The rent is more than I can realistically afford and so I have to face the fact that after living here for over 13 years, it is time to move. I need to find a new place to live before my savings runs out and I am evicted. 

So, what do you do when you have no job, your unemployment is about to run out and you need to move?  Do you settle for living in east bumfuck and take a job you hate just to have a job? Or do you think about what you really want out of life and go for it?  I am still in a position to make my own choices and I have decided it is time to move on. And you know what? I am excited about the possibilities.  I am going to start over and it feels great!!

Now What?

Sometimes life sends change our way whether we want it or not.

I was laid off from my accounting job in August 2013.  I wasn’t really surprised as the writing had been on the wall for about six months.  And when I was really honest with myself, it was the best thing to happen to me.

I had been employed for the same company for seven years. I should have left after year five but you know how it is when things get comfortable.  I had a daughter just starting college, I needed the insurance, it was close to home, and I was afraid to start over.  But the thing is – I was bored to death!  There were no challenges anymore, I did the same thing every day, there was no chance for advancement and with everything happening in the US Government and financial industry, I just felt lucky to have a job.

So when I was let go, I wasn’t really disappointed.  As a matter of fact, I really felt like God kicked me thru the door I was afraid to walk thru.  That door had been open for two years and I just didn’t have the courage to take that first step.  Now I had no choice.  It was time for a new beginning.

A wise man travels to discover himself ~ James Russell Lowell

Don’t worry about being worried. You’re heading out on an adventure and you can always change your mind along the way and try something else. -Tracy Kidder

My daughter, Sara started college on the day I turned fifty.  Instead of moping around and feeling sorry for myself, I started traveling solo.

I went to Alabama in October of 2011 and met some very distant cousins.  Carolyn lives in Alabama, Mac lives in Tennessee and Randy lives in California. We are all descendant from the same man – Samuel Abner Lambert, who was born about 1804.  It was fabulous to meet and spend time with these “new” relatives, hear their stories and learn more about my family and their lives in the south.

In the fall of 2012, I spent ten days in Scotland and Ireland.  This time I was meeting “new” cousins from my Wilson family tree.  Peter Wilson immigrated to the US from Inishowen, Co Donegal, Ireland with his parents in 1777.  The family I met was descendant from Peter’s brother George, who stayed behind.  This was my first trip overseas and I had a wonderful time.

April 2013 saw me traveling to Franklin, Tennessee to continue researching the Lambert family tree.  Cousin Carolyn from Alabama met me and we had a great time catching up.  We went thru files in the local library, took a civil war tour and visited the Grand Ole Opry in Nashville.  She headed home and I spent two more days on my own.  I took another civil war tour and then headed back to Nashville.  I spent most of the day at the Country Music Hall of Fame and had a wonderful early dinner at a local bar. A little shopping and it was time to head home.

In August 2013, I was laid off after seven years with the same company (we will save that story for another post).  Anyway, I now had some time on my hands and a very dear friend offered to pay for my airplane ticket to return to Ireland.  And in October 2013 – off I went!

A week in Ireland, catching up with family, taking photographs and discovering new locations was exactly what I needed.  I spent time with new friends and time alone.  I wrote in my journal and I wandered around Dublin.  I came home refreshed and with a new sense of beginning.  I felt the need to get rid of the “stuff” in my life – literally and figuratively.  The change had begun!

Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start...

Every story has a beginning and mine is no exception.  Your story may be very similar.  And even if it’s not, you somehow ended up on this page and so I am thinking that no matter how you got here – you are on a journey of some sort as well.  So let me share my past with you and we can share our future together!

A little background for you – I’m 52 and I’ve been a single mother since 1999.  My daughter Sara is a junior in college in New Hampshire and I live in a small town in Connecticut.  I’ve worked in the accounting field for most of my working years, even though I have a degree as a paralegal.  Accounting has never been a passion; it’s just something I do.

My passions are social justice, progressive politics, travel, photography and genealogy.  My protestant faith is strong and even though I stopped going to church over a year ago, I hope to find a new church that shares my progressive views.  I want to work “actively” in my community to assist those in need.  I am particularly passionate about feeding the hungry, housing the homeless and taking care of our veterans.

So, anyway – when my daughter went off to college in the fall of 2011, I didn’t go thru the “empty nest syndrome”.  Instead, I embraced my new found freedom.  Being a mom had been my number one priority for so long that I was now ready to focus on myself.  And that’s okay!!

Deciding to make the decision

January 28, 2014

Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step. -Martin Luther King, Jr.


They say that every journey begins with the first step.  Today, I have decided to start that journey.  I am not sure where exactly I will end up, nor do I know exactly how I will get there.  But I know there is something at the top of these steps and I invite you to travel with me!